Am I a shocking mother? Please be honest. Suggestions welcome.?

Honestly, it's a tad bit upsetting that you would swear at her, but I don't know a single parent that has not yelled at their baby out of pure frustration. I too have yelled at my son simply because he refused to stop hitting my tv screen. What matters is that you don't harm your child physically and calm yourself down. Children know how to test us like no other! They truly know how to push our ons. Maybe you could leave her with hubby or a babysitter while you have a little "me time" just to relax for a bit and let everything go. I find a nice bubble bath really helps me calm down a bit when the little one is driving me crazy.